...as I was spreading peanut butter on the trigger...I was contemplating the act of
..."Murder"...
...now I'm not a violent person, but sometimes I do think "Murder" is appropriate...
(2) days earlier, as I decended the basement stairs, there it was, laying there at the bottom of the incline, a diamond shaped piece of cracker, about 1 1/2" in size, and upon further investigation, I determined it to be of the "Graham" variety ... and while that might not be "odd" in your house, especially if you have kids, ... I do not, ... and since I have not eaten graham crackers in at least (3) months, how could it have gotten there ... I slipped into my CSI, (crime scene investigation), outfit and headed towards the pantry...spotted the Graham cracker box on the top shelf, and tipped it slowly towards me to peer inside...I found an empty cellophane wrapper and some dark tubular shaped objects laying inside the wrapper...thats when my investigative skills kicked in, and I determined it was a (mus musculus), and we all know what that means...OK, I realise not all of you have the same superior detective skills as I, ...so, I will share my findings...they were mouse turds !!!
...as I stated earlier...I was spreading peanut butter on the trigger, then I pulled back the spring-loaded neck breaker and lodged it to the gooey vibration trigger, and I was thinking
..."Murder"... ..."Murder"... ..."Murder"... yes!!! yes!!! yes!!!
...I set the trap on the top shelf, next to some soup mugs and turned a cereal box sideways, so the little looters would have plenty of room to feast ... and,
... "DIE" ... ..."DIE" ... ..."DIE"... yes !!! yes !!! yes !!!
The next morning, anxious to see my revenge enacted, I crept to the pantry, turned the box of cereal as if it were a door, and was struck by the horror that must of happened in the night...there must be gangs of the little looters...and I must have placed the booty on the border line of their respective turfs...they must have come upon the booty and claimed it as their own, while the rival gang said "No Way, It's Ours !!!"...and the knife fight ensued...
how else to explain all that "BLOOD" all over the place...and the winning gang even carted the trap back to their "Crib", where ever that is...I searched for it for over an hour and could not find it...and even saw some things moved on a shelf below...it must of been an epic battle.
I'm a little afraid to live here now, because if those two gangs find out it was me that interfered in their "Homey" boundaries...they might become one, and unite against me.
...but not if I get them first...
I've read for every (1) mouse you "see" there are (10) more in your house. I'll keep you updated on the death totals...
...If I don't post again in over (1) month...that means "they" got me first...
3 comments:
Somehow that incident vaguely reminds me of a cartoon about a mouse called "Billy"... Unfortunately Wired Magazine doesn't seem to host the cool animation stuff anymore... (However I was clever enough to save from the cache for my own viewing.)
Well Bixbloc there comes a time in mans life when you have to stand up and fight! (a bit corny)
So, let the games begin!
Goodluck.
Btw good post
We began to wonder if they got you last month.
BTW: Whatever you do, if you see any of them, DO NOT look them in the eyes. Those cute little bitty brown eyes can mesmerize you to the point where you will want to provide them with all then paraphenalia of living. They're cute.
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